Friday, 13 October 2017

FictionFriday - King Akwern's Levy

I heard you was out across the country lookin' fer local folklore, afore them temple-dwellers knock it all outta us.

Weeelll, I've no doubt ye've heard already of King Akwern, Lord of the Grey Ones, though as I hear it he has other names and other genders in other parts <he spits>, so yeh may not know 'im proper yet. And it bein' Harvest and all, tis a good time to know yer enemy.

So, you'll be seeing 'em all out (if yeh haven't already), collecting collecting their crops from tree and soil, and yeh'll be seeing them leavin' a great pile of it at the edges: every orchard, every field. And later, we'll all a-come and heave what's there to th'edges of the forest, what 'iz troops haven't tekken already. And if we don't, well, misfortune follows.


Tek little Bonnie. She was a friend of my Grammer's, though her huzbban weren't so kind as my own Granfer, as they tell it. But she married him and he got a son in her and carried on his drinking and shouting and lazing even after the babe was born and his parents had died and another babe on the way, when then he stops only for he drops himself dead. And little Bonnie's all big with child and can't manage the orchard alone . Some of the crop makes its way to market and some to King Akwern, but most finds its way nay further than the floor. Well, King Akwern don't tek kindly to this. And ye may be wundering why, when he had his tithe. The thing is, see, he doesn't just want his share  of the crop, he wants that share to be the very best, and what he got from Bonnie, it weren't the best of what'd grown.

So he sends his black-and-white birds as lookouts, and the dust-tailed lieutenants swarmed their house, them chittering ones tided in like water turned grey, and when they ebbed away, sure and her son was missing.  

Now, Bonnie was a brave lass for all her huzbban had done. This'd be reet when she'd jowst hadden the new babe, a girlie, and she wasn't going fer that babe to lose it's brother so, so she traps herself one of 'iz lieutenants, bound it to her mekking it swear thrice that it would aid her and not mislead her afore she let it out of that trap, fer all the good that did her, and off she set with the babe at her breast, her cloak round her shoulders and that squirrel on her shoulder.

And nehver was she seen again, at least, not in these parts. Mayhap she got the better of King Akwern and married herself a prince and lived happily ever after, but I think he et her. 

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