Friday, 1 February 2019

Christmas Day Baby

Breaking my silence.

The bump got so big I couldn't comfortably type on the laptop, so I stopped blogging, and then Ziggy arrived and everything's been a bit of a blur since. I want to write up the birth and first few days, because it was very hard but I got through it and hopefully there things I can say that might help someone else, and writing about it will help me deal with it all. Ziggy still needs a lot of my time and energy, though, so it won't be just yet.

For now, some photos.









Monday, 5 November 2018

Happy Bonfire Night!

Remember, Remember, the Fifth of November
Gunpowder, Treason, and Plot
I see no reason why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot

Or that's how I thought it went. Today I learnt that there's loads of version of it, icluding one that's significantly longer and includes a lot more details about Guy Fawkes and the plot and how he was caught.
I love bonfire night. As a child, we'd have a big bonfire in our back garden, on the veg patch (good for fertilising the soil). The next door neighbours and the neighbours over the road, who both had children around our age, would come over with food and fireworks and sparklers, and Dad would make mulled wine, carefully boiling off all the alcohol so we could have some too. Some years we went next door while the adults were prepping, and watched The BFG.

I remember one year waiting in the front garden for other guests to arrive by car, and they were taking so long, but then we saw shooting stars so started making wishes on those - eventually realising they were rockets.

We'd bring in the guinea pig and rabbit, and make sure the cat was in too, but they never seemed fussed by the noises. (Our current feline cohabitee seems to actively enjoy fireworks: if she can, she'll sit on the window cill or in the back garden to watch them, coming back if she hears more after she's moved away. If she can't see anything, she'll sit in one of her usual spots and never flinch when the bangs occur.)

The only bit I didn't like was burning the guy: Dad would make it out of his old clothes stuffed with newspaper, and I didn't mind helping with that (though I'd sometimes get upset if he was intending to use a jumper I particularly liked), but when it was burnt I always felt like we were burning him, somehow, so I'd go inside and put underpants on my toys heads (ears through the leg holes; no idea why I did this!) and re-enact displays by drawing fireworks and mimicking the noises.

Screaming rockets have always been my favourite fireworks.

(I love Hallowe'en too. Dad used to be annoyed by trick-or-treaters that have grown in number in the UK over my lifetime, until he connected it with the old "penny for the guy" that he'd done as a child. Started out by saying that at least his showed some skill, before realising that we and most of our friends were putting together our own costumers and also that he was begging for money, while we were after sweets.)

Anyway, this year is our first in this neighbourhood. We were very impressed with the amount of young, polite trick-or-treaters we saw out last week, and this week I've been impressed by the amount of firework displays going off - and especially that they're done by about 9.30! Lots of young families and older people around here.

They were talking on the news last week about how some older people find fireworks very stressful, especially those with dementia and memories of the war. That hadn't occurred to me before, but reiterates to me how important it is to check on your elderly neighbours. There's what we think is an old people's residential unit over the road from us, and they had a lovely display Saturday evening, so I think they were probably well supported.

It seems funny to continue to celebrate a failed attempt to kill a king over 400 years ago. Dad told me it was a way to fold in pre-Christian rituals that continued to hang around in a way that was acceptable to the Church at the time, and that presumably there's something in the human psyche wanting a celebration with lots of fire and things to ward off evil spirits (the masks of Hallowe'en and the fireworks of tonight) about now. The onset of winter (in the northern hemisphere), one imagines. Reminds me of a post I read on another blog recently, about encorporating holidays into RPG's.

Anyway, if you're celebrating, have fun tonight, and don't forget to check for hedgehogs before lighting your bonfire!

Monday, 29 October 2018

Exalted - Calibration and Manse Building

This is the story of our Second Age Exalted game, told from the point of view of my character, Cathak Taji. Click here for the index.
~~~

It was the run up to Calibration in the year 757, making us 17. We'd been in the army a couple of years, been promoted a few times. Reilly sent us back to Rose Black at High Castle, not giving us time to see Rey before we left. When we got there, the quartermaster greeted us: we'd sent back the various things he'd asked for every opportunity we'd had, and to show us his gratitude he gave us a power bow and a flame tongue repeater, with ammo pearls and a kit to make more.

My overriding memory of our return to High Castle was the sheer number of Dynasts strutting around the place. Rose Black called us to her as soon as she could, to explain that we'd been in the army long enough to be allowed home for an extended period, even to leave. However, she continued, they had a continuing real problem with beastmen and we'd proven ourself against them, and in particular she was worried by a threat from the north, an Anathema calling themselves "The Bull of the North". If we came back, she'd give us our own command. We looked at each other, torn: I wanted to go home and see my family, but I liked Rose Black a lot, and I knew this would help the Empress too, and beastmen were a menace, and I think Kito felt similarly. She read our inner conflict and told us we didn't have to make a decision until after Calibration and sent us back to Gruncle's.

The Emissary joined us to travel back and invited us to a sorcerors' meet, a feast from the end of the First Age. It's held on the nights when the rituals to summon the most dangerous demons must begin: by gathering the most powerful sorcerors together, this can't happen without knowledge. The Realm doesn't following the tradition and it's fallen out of practice. He wants to bring it back. The Empress can't attend due to her position (though says she may come in disguise).

We talked with him about Lunar's Warriors. He called them Stewards and explained they're paired with Lawgivers. The Bull of the North, we learn, is a Lawgiver, but won't be open to negotiation: he'll see us as representing a force trying to oppose him. The Emissary showed uncharacteristic emotion then, looking demonstrably worried: there should be 300 Lawgivers, but he only knows of Tsung (the Seer) and the Azure Titan (our former incarnations' mentor). With the Bull of the North, that's 4, or 6 if he's right about our destiny.

When we reached Gruncle's, Hak's there and we showed him the bush where Kito saw the mouse. He told us we're truly blessed. 

Once we'd been greeted by everyone and been fed and fussed, I sought Gruncle alone in his office - the one with the stunning view over the Estate that makes it look like the grounds are aflame as the sun sets. It was an awkward conversation, but I walked away  reassured that if Kito and I do end up Anathema then he will at least still talk to us, and he knew I understood he would protect us as best he could, but had to put the safety of the House first.

And then the Emissary told us it was time to leave for the feast. He drew a glass globe from his sleeve and dropped it to the floor, where it shattered to dust that rose to create a shimmering, transparent door. He opened it and ushered us into a corridor of similar doors, with large double doors at one end. Others of the doors like we'd entered by opened and people came through until around 25 people stood there. We walked through the main doors and I realised we were approaching a manse, somewhere in Elsewhere - that place that isn't the Wyld, isn't Creation, but is everywhere else. From the steps to the Manse door walked down two inhuman women, perfect mirror to each other, with strange metallic tattoos or engravings across their skin.

Most of the guests seemed snobby. Not rude towards us, exactly, but uninterested. The Seer - Tsung - was about the only exception, and the Emissary didn't seem entirely pleased by our acquaintance. We didn't recognise him to begin with, but I, at least, was pleased to see him. We talked to him about things we'd struggled to get others to explain to us, and finally learnt the significance of the white mouse and the symbol Kito had seen: a boon from the Unconquered Sun, a symbol of his favour, a moment of luck or inspiration to help overcome insurmountable odds, and very, very rare. His favourites may see one or two in their entire lives.

The food was incredible, which made up for how lonely it started to feel.

In the morning, the Emissary took us and Hak to check on some of his freeholdings in the west, leading us through a set of sliding doors to a mountainside overlooking the ocean. An archipelago stretched out, leading to a larger island in the northeast, but we walked away from the view toward the mountaintop, a blackened caldera. The heat haze and a wisp of smoke showed this to be dormant, not extinct. All the same, even at the centre the heat felt merely uncomfortable and not deadly as I'd expected. As the Emissary reached through the solid rock, I activated my All Encompassing Sorceror's Sight and realised there were no elementals around. He pulled on an orichalcum chain the other side of the rock, and the heat dissipated, the mountain melting with it to leave an evergreen forest. It felt unnatural: we hadn't left the tropical region, so these trees were distinctly out of place. 

"This is the first freehold," our expressions led him to explain more. "A freehold is a stable area in the Wyld," and he went on to explain the Wyld we'd been in before had been the Border Marches. We were now in the Middle Marches and beyond that was the Deep Wyld, chaos unformed. I looked more closely at our surroundings and realised we stood in a bubble: there was a distinct circumference around us where the trees and bushes were well-formed, moreso even than in Creation, but beyond that things started to blur.

We followed the Emissary as he led us to the Deep Wyld, the bubble continuing to protect us. A path formed as he trod, and we took care to stay on it. Beyond that was darkness - the darkness of a child's room, filled with monsters. Nothing there, yet everything.

He created a safe area for the 3 of us to wait in while he worked, and we chatted with Hak. He told us he'd never been to the Deep Wyld before: Viziers like him rely on Ambrosia - on prayers made manifest - but Lawgivers, frustrated by the limitations of Ambrosia, had learnt to manipulate the Wyld. 

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"Very."

Golems stepped into existence around the Emissary, 12ft tall and golden. No, not gold: orichalum. Once there were 12, they knelt to him; he looked discomforted by the servitude, and tired by their creation. They returnedwith us, and Hak quietly explained to Kito and me that things created in the Wyld become unstable in Creation - further magics are required to give them solidity here, or they degrade. The magics were lost in the First Age: maybe 5 people have the knowledge now, and only 3 the power. 

The Emissary sent the golems around the island, which I now realised the caldera marked the very centre of, as we sat on its edge. He waited about 40 minutes - to allow them to get to the right places or for the sun to be in the right place, I wasn't sure - then clapped his hands as though into prayer and was hit by a torrent of light from the sun, cascading from him to flood the island until it reached what I surmised were the golems: 12 beams of light returned to the sky and expanded out to create a shield. As soon as the shield was complete, a 4-armed creature climbed from the soil to patrol the island, and magma began to bubble, rising from the ash of the caldera to reveal a simple sructure made of a composite of the 5 magical materials. The domed roof opened and the Emissary sank in.

Hak looked interested. As far as he'd known, only one person could do this, and that was the first sorceror, who'd been given her power by the Unconquered Sun.

A door appeared in the structure and the Emissary stepped out. He explained he had 30 planned, but could only manage maybe 10 this Calibration. Our offer of help was accepted, and Kito summoned a cloud to take us to the next location, a tiny rock in the ocean barely big enough for the 4 of us. The remaining golems (slightly smaller now) took their places beneath the waves and again pillars of light rose from them. The island seemed to shift as the ritual continued; once complete, a throne of glass waves stood before us, with a basin on a pedestal. The Emissary scooped out the ball bobbing in the bowl and explained there was a second manse below, which he'd created in a set of ancient ruins, and that was the relay manse to match the one he'd created earlier.

We took a portal to Gruncle's garden: stepping through felt a lot like walking through the Deep Wyld.

I peppered the Emissary with questions, of course. Manses are created during Calibration and are best given years of planning. There are many ways to use a manse that have been lost since the First Age - to learn more about that, I'd need to Meru herself, but the great city is no longer on top of the Imperial Mountain. He'd looked and found nothing but the ruins of hovels, long picked clean: no signs of the glory of the city.

There were feasts every night for the next four nights. The other guests continued to be uninterested in interacting with us, but the food and drink were phenomenal. The mirrored twins wore increasingly elaborate outfits: black fabric that flowed like water; a strange, metallic or stone-like material in white and silver; greens in a leafy, flowery, viney pattern; and finally, flickering, fiery reds.

We helped build manses again the second day, again in very remote spots: a section of a tropical island gave a multi-tiered tree; a four-armed statue of the Unconquered Sun, facing the Realm, above a small bay, where a rock formation created a natural wind tunnel that enhanced the sound of the crashing waves; an abandoned mine in the side of an equally abandoned quarry became a steel disc inscribed with runes supporting a throne and pedestal on a small island not far from a Shadowland (which had grown a lot since his last visit, 200 years perviously). On some of these, I saw statues as we left: the golems settling to take the exact appearance of those statues outside Nexus, with the Emissary's features.

The Emissary didn't take us if he did anymore on later days, but Mum took me to a manse in the north of the Realm to attune the hearthstone in her bracers.

It was good to spend time with our family, because we'd made up our minds what to tell Rose Black: the Bull of the North was a real threat, one even I appreciated we couldn't take on yet, but we would need to one day, so we might was well take the opportunity to learn as much about him as possible with our own recon unit.

Sunday, 21 October 2018

Amaryllis "Blazing Shield of the Sun" (Exalted First Age Solar)

As well as the Second Age Exalted game featuring Taji which I'm slowly writing up, Rich has been running a First Age game for Bells (Kito)  and Ash, another of their friends. I was invited in, as Ash is going to join our Aberrant game (which starts next week 😀).

Game Background
Bells and Ash are playing teenagers, brand new Solar Exalts attending Meru High. They've both inherited cities and vast fortunes from their previous incarnations and are learning about what it means to be Exalts. It's an alternate history of the Second Age game, so there's a few familiar names and faces, which is fun. 

As with the Second Age game, various liberties have been taken with the official setting.

Character Background
I've joined as an older Exalt, a Zenith by the name of "Blazing Shield of the Sun" who also still goes by her mortal name of Amaryllis. She Exalted maybe 100 years ago, so is still young in Solar terms. Her Lunar mate (Nevalia or Nevaris, depending if they're in female or male form) is older again (several points in the Ally background). They're close, friends and lovers, currently with an adopted daughter Mara (a few points of the Ward or Dependent flaw, forget the name), though they have raised other children that one or other has birthed (need to double check that about Nevalia, but I assume they've both carried babies). Amaryllis is also the ruler of Ondar-Shambal (inherited from her previous incarnation), and is a devoted follower of the Unconquered Sun. She has a following within Ondar-Shambal (Cult) that she finds embarrassing and does her best to reflect the praise to Ignis Divine.

Personality
Amaryllis's overriding trait, the one that gives her the form of her Great Curse, is Compassion. She can't stand by if she sees innocents suffering ("greater curse" flaw means her trigger track is shorter than normal). This is how Mara came to be in her custody: she arrived too late to stop the destruction of a town caught between two warring factions. The only survivor was a young girl, whom she immediately took in.

At the opposite end, her Temperance is very low, meaning she acts compulsively and, when not actively engaged in praying to the Unconquered Sun, is restless and finds it hard to sit still. Her Deliberative paperwork is vastly out of date, she rarely shows up for non-religious official events she's expected to attend, and she's easily distracted. Fortunately for her health, she overindulges as much in healthy things as unhealthy: she's always eating fruit, trains rigorously in martial arts for the pleasure of movement, enjoys sex and parties, drinks too much, reads romance and adventure (but nothing non-fiction unless she has to)...

She's a loyal friend, fiercely protective and hates letting people down. She worries that her lack of temperance makes her unworthy to lead Ondar-Shambal but trusts Lytek knew what he was doing when he chose her.

Attributes and Abilities
She's quick-witted, sharp-eyed, smart, charismatic, tough and resilient. She loves martial arts and is an effective fighter - though she's rarely been called on to use her skills for real, and even when she has, it's been to defend an innocent (or innocent group) from someone significantly less powerful than herself. Her love of movement extends to high acrobatics. She's got a good stage presence that helps her lead group worship, and prayer is a big focus for her. 

While she never had the patience or commitment to learn sorcery, Nevalia/Nevaris is an accomplished sorceror and some of the knowledge has rubbed off on Amaryllis.

As well as being a religious centre, Ondar-Shambal is an active trading partner and, despite the tedium of it, she has become fairly skilled in bureaucracy as a result

Most of her charms relate to resilience, acrobatics and martial arts. Her hearthstones focus on memory and reading (to help her complete necessary tasks she finds dull as quickly as possible), and healing.

The Game...
May or may not get written up at some point.

Thursday, 18 October 2018

The Sunsetting of G+

If you read my blog, you probably get here from Google+ so you're probably already aware that Google/Alphabet has announced they will be "sunsetting" the social network, and you'll probably be aware of why that sucks. If you're not familiar with G+, you may be wondering why I care.

The obvious first point is that most of my blog traffic comes from there. This is because I only share links from G+, so I can easily enough share to other networks and that's fine. I love seeing the statistics that show people (like you!) are reading my blog, but I'm not looking to have a huge number of readers; that's not why I do this. It's just a nice side effect.

It's my favourite social network. I'm on others, but it's my favourite, and now I have to find a replacement, which has had me thinking hard about why it's my favourite, about what makes it special to me. I'm looking at replacements, and none of them meet my needs. I think the easiest way to try and explain what is special about G+ is by looking through these others.

This is going to be long.

MeWe is currently proving a popular alternative among roleplayers. There's some concern about the politics of the owner - strong libertarian with a belief in the kind of freedom of speech that isn't actually legal in my country, because it includes incitement to violence etc. And that doesn't sit entirely comfortably with a lot of people, but, contrarily, the site offers very robust tools to block and report hate speech and harrassers and anyone else. The site is intended for everyone, even those diametrically opposed to the owner's personal politics, and that is something I can respect. It is freedom of speech for all, not just those with the loudest voices.

As well as the quick and easy blocking and reporting and the good privacy protection that makes it less likely for issues to arise in the first place, it also has good support for groups, and one of the best things about G+ are the communities. They're diverse and welcoming and really easy to set up and moderate. There's loads of roleplay communities, which is where I mostly hangout, but you can find pretty much anything. MeWe have already made one change to groups, so that you can have a look at the group before joining it - that was frustrating to me, because people would invite me and I'd click the invitation only to discover I'd mystically joined a group that I had no interest in. That was never an issue on G+, but shows the MeWe developers are responding.

I like the way you can respond to a post or comment with a huge range of emoticons, even if the style of emoticon is more cartoony than the style I'm used to from using my phone to access G+. I like that G+ Refugees use the '+' symbol, but it's fun to see people interact imaginatively with other options too. That's something MeWe does better.

I don't like the interface, the main stream page. It's too bright, too cluttered, too like Facebook. There's talk that a dark version will be released, but there's going to be a charge for it and for me, with my fibromyalgia-induced hypersensitivity issues, it's about accessibility not preference: I can't tolerate the bright clutter for long. I object to being forced to pay even a token amount for something that, actually, might not fix the issue. I was cross when G+ switched the top bar from dark grey to red, kept feeding back to them that I wanted to have colour options, and that's what pushed me to use the app more than the desktop site. That red was difficult for me to process on the scale of a full screen, but is much preferable to what MeWe offer. The rest of the interface is clean: you can have multiple column display for your stream, or (like I do) one central column thatI find less distracting. There's a bar at the top that looks like you see at the top of most Google-based sites (and is no longer red but now white). To the left is a small menu; bottom right a button to do updates. And that's it. Loads of lovely, crisp, white space. No adverts. No annoying games. The only moving imagery is if someone has put GIF's in their posts. It's so, so good!

Other people dislike that MeWe doesn't have public posting. They're intending to bring it in, but it would be public within MeWe because for anything to be publicly visible on the net would breach MeWe's tightly enforced privacy controls. That could prove annoying for me occasionally, but doesn't bother me so much. It would be a problem for anyone who uses G+ as a public internet persona, though.

The MeWe developers are looking at bringing in things to satisfy those of us looking at moving over - the aforementioned change to groups, for instance, but also bringing in "pages" to replicate collections, and something akin to circles.

Collections are something I didn't think I'd like when they were introduced, but I make a lot of use of them now. They're a way of categorising your posts, making it easy for people to follow topics they're interested in and avoid things they don't want to see. My most popular collection is the one where I share circus videos - it has more followers than I do, because people can choose to just follow that collection. It's shared publicly, which means anyone who wants to can follow it. I have other collections that are shared to just my circles, or just specific circles. Only people I allow can see those collections, but they still have the choice to unfollow them and not have any posts from that collection show up in their feed. 

Which brings me on to circles, my very favourite thing about G+. You can create a circle and add people to it. They used to be better: I could create a circle of inspiring artists, say, and not have them show up in my stream normally, but look just at that circle when I wanted. The ability to weight how much a specific circle is displayed died away, and I had to get rid of some circles because they overwhelmed my feed. All the same, I love having such precise control over who sees what, and I like the lopsided nature of circles: I can put someone in a circle, and they don't have to do the same to me for me to see stuff they're comfortable sharing publicly. Unlike other social networks, I've never felt any pressure on G+ to follow someone back just because they followed me. I'm already feeling that pressure on MeWe - partly the terminology, partly the fact that, at the moment, you can only see stuff by accepting contact requests. MeWe are looking to bring in circles, sort of. I suspect, though, that like their "pages" there will be a plan to charge a monthly subscription to use them, and the options will be "public" (within MeWe), "contacts" (which I assume will be equivalent to current set up) and "close friends". I have way more than that! I have family on G+, who don't get to see things that my friends do, and friends and family get more access to me than others. I have loads of circles to allow me to fine tune who sees what, and that's how come ended up making so many friends through the network. I had the control at every step. (Facebook have come to offer something similar, but G+ did it first and better.)

G+ let me share photos and videos for free and with no storage cap. MeWe expects photos/videos to be uploaded to their cloud and has a storage cap that I'm pretty sure I'd reach quickly if I start using it to share my circus stuff.

I get that MeWe need to charge for things. They make a big thing about how user data remains the property of the user, and there's no ads, and they're not part of a megacorp, so they need to get funding from somewhere, but I don't want to be charged for things I feel I need. I like paying for the fun extras. I'm the same when it comes to mobile games: if you need to pay to win or pay to play, I won't pay, but if you can play for free and get a good game experience, there's a good chance I'll ping a few quid into the game from time to time. MeWe is looking to charge for the things that would make it a sufficient replacement by itself, and that means I don't want to spend money.

I like the way groups (communities) are implemented, though, and a lot of communities are migrating that way so I will probably hang around for that. The mobile app is pretty good too.

Diaspora (Pluspora)
I'd heard of federated networks in a vague way before, but have done a lot of reading since. I've tried (unsuccessfully, due to bugs and overloaded servers) to sign up to Mastodon, and have signed up to Nerdica (part of Friendica), but haven't yet found anyone else there (I know a few people said they'd signed up, but I can't remember whom). The one where I've spent the most time so far is Pluspora, part of Diaspora.

I love the interface. The default is so similar to G+ in the early days, but there are options if that doesn't suit you.

It has circles ("aspects"). I haven't played enough to see how much they mimic G+, but the sharing seems pretty similar so far.

It uses hashtags instead of collections, which doesn't work as well: I don't think you can unfollow a hashtag. But then, you can apply multiple hashtags and you could only ever post to one collection at a time.

It doesn't have communities, which makes me a little sad.

Photos/videos are shared using a link and Markup language, but using links from Google photos (where most of my photos are held) doesn't seem to work very well. G+ sometimes uploads really low res versions and sometimes gets stuck uploading, but it works well overall. Pluspora shrinks the image and only displays a portion of it, which I dislike.

You can only "like" the original post, not any of the comments from it. Also, it uses "like". G+ uses the plus symbol instead, which I like better because you can use that to show solidarity without making it sound like you're glad your friend is in pain. 

You can't edit posts or comments. I didn't think that would bother me to begin with, but it really does now!

There's no app providing push notifications, so I don't remember to look at it. Despite how slow it gets, I like the G+ app.

Like MeWe, the founders of Diaspora have said they'd like to implement changes to make us feel at home. The problem is, they rely on volunteer developers so changes can be a long time coming. They use Ruby on Rails (which I've looked at but never used) and JavaScript (which is the one programming thing I've worked with but never managed too get my head around). I'm tempted to see if I can do any small tasks while I'm on maternity - would look good in my CV, if nothing else - but it does depend on the baby.

It's free. There's no ads. It seems popular with the writers, photographers (despite aforementioned issues) and non-gaming geeks I follow. I'll probably hang around there for the social side, but I do need to look into Nerdica more deeply, as that may resolve some of my issues and apparently Friendica and Diaspora talk to each other. 

Instagram
You'd be forgiven for thinking Instagram may solve my issue of how to share photos/videos. I do share a lot there, but its too public, and videos are capped at a minute in length and sometimes you're forced to turn the sound off because a song is playing in the background. I use it to admire my aerial friends' videos and to get inspiration for my own aerial journey and to admire the talent of various geeks who share RPG character art. 

And Facebook, why not?
There's been a few voices asking why individuals and communities aren't moving to Facebook. That's no good to me: I predominantly use it for family. Some people have suggested I create a second account to maintain that separation I value, but there are otherissues. I've had a second account before, and they twigged and shut it down and told me they'd close both my accounts if I did it again (and I need my main account for the messenger app, which is the primary way the aerial circus school communicates). The interface is even more cluttered than MeWe's. But the biggest issue is that I end up feeling like I have to read every single update since my last log in, and that's very dangerous for my mental health. It's because I wasn't in a great headspace when I was using the site a lot, and when I started using G+ I swore to myself I wouldn't do the same.

And I just don't like Facebook. G+ is closing because they found an issue that could have been exploited to cause a data breach (but doesn't appear to have been), whereas FB has had repeated breaches. People on G+ were aware of exploitation by Cambridge Analytica before it hit the headlines, but weren't similarly affected. Sure, Google owns a lot of my data, but I've given it to them willingly and comprehendingly.

Bleurgh.

I'll keep investigating. Twitter's not sufficient for my needs (and has the same historic issue of me thinking I need to read everything), but I'll play there to be sure. I want to look into Dreamwidth and maybe look at resurrecting my LJ. There's 10 months for me to decide, and I'm planning on clinging to G+'s heels as it's ridden into the sunset, until they kick me free.

Normal service to resume as soon as pregnancy symptoms allow. Just didn't want the announcement to pass by completely uncommented here.

Tuesday, 9 October 2018

Deadlands - The Asylum pt2

This is a chapter in our Deadlands game, told from the perspective of my character, Solomon Blackbird. For more of the story, check out the index.
~~~
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
Every step further from the camp and towards the house fills me with dread.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
I lose count of how many times I fight my instincts, telling me to turn and flee.  
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
The weight of my bowie knife is comforting at my waist; the words of the Psalms comforting in my mind.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
I look toward at the house again, a silhouette knitted of shadow, barely visible against the black sky.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 
I've reached the gardens. The only light is my flickering torch - there's not star in the sky.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. 
Surely... 
I skirt around the edges of the grounds until I reach the orchard. No fruit on the trees - they claw at the sky like skeletal hands. My torch light falls on a burial mound. I creep closer to read the name on the clean wooden cross: 'Tesla'. I fall to my knees with a gasp, find the soil is damp. This grave is newly dug. But more than that... My hand sinks into the soil and I raise it to see blood. I yelp and scrabble away, catching myself before I fall into an open grave. The torch swings wildly, highlighting the clawed corpses within. Clawed and chewed, as if by a mountain lion. I manage not to drop the torch and recover my composure even as the horror sinks in. Raise my hand to my face to touch the scars across my eye, leaving a muddy, bloody streak. I've dreamt of this.

I've found my feet again, find myself running from the orchard to the house. Chin and Carson are more likely to be there than anywhere. My torch swings wildly, often in front of my eyes, destroying my night vision, but I manage to keep hold of it. Slow my steps and ragged breathing as I approach the building, looming larger than it did during the day. It's just the house, I realise: the admin building is missing.
My torch gutters and goes out as I reach the house. I drop the stick and again fight my instincts as I reach out and touch the wall. Close my eyes. Our Father, who art in Heaven. My lips move, but I find no comfort in the familiar words. Prowl around the building, fingers brushing the stone. There's no doors, no windows. It's a new floor that wasn't here before, warm as though the building is rising from Hell.

I've reached the start, I think, and carry on in a daze. 

Feels like... claw marks in the stone. Horizontal ones (are these mine?!) and ... vertical ones. Like some...thing trying to climb. I can't climb after - I have enough trouble scrambling up the cliffs with help from my companions - but I don't have any better idea of how to try to get in, and I can't do nothing. Maybe the scrapes will give me some purchase? My hand digs into the wall - I snatch it back: it felt like my nails had extended into claws that had managed to pierce the brick. Run the pad of my thumb over them - just nails. I close my eyes and press into the wall again, finding I can climb it as my hands and feet grip in that strange way, one overwhelming thought. That grave. Did I kill all those people?
There's a lintel, marking the start of what had been the ground floor. Climb - a gunshot rings out, shattering glass next to me - someone's shooting at me! Don't look around to see who, but dive through the window, following the broken glass, and fall far enough to realise it's too far... but manage to land on all fours, catlike.
"Hello?" The voice startles me.

"Hello..."

"Who's that?"

"Solomon"

"It's Carson." The voice sounds relieved, drained of tension - and still nothing like Carson. 
There's a light in the direction it came from, though. Not enough to make out my surroundings over here, so crawl there, over more clawed-up bodies. I'm nearly in tears by the time I reach him, but it is him. He doesn't know where Chin is and hasn't found any sign of Salazar or Bruce. Tell him about Tesla's grave, and then reach the question that's bothering me the most.

"Could I be a... a werecat? Puma?" As the words tumble from my mouth I realise I don't want to know, realise how frightened I am - I don't want to know, but I need to.

He doubts it. Realising I'm truly scared, says we can talk about it when we're somewhere safer. I take comfort in his words, especially the conviction with which he promises to talk later.

There's a clattering of shattering glass. We swing in the direction, Carson's lantern revealing a door. As we move towards it, he says it's the door he came in by. He also says he was the one who shot the window out, but the shot definitely came from outside...

We open the door, and immediately Carson slams it shut again, in the face of a Patchwork Man charging at us. It smashes through the door - I swipe at it while Carson unloads his gun into it, then switches to magic: balls of fire slam into it, leaving scorchmarks that fade as fast as they form. I mutter a quick prayer again - and this time find comfort in it. I still can't hit the creature, but get in the way of a couple of punches from it aimed at Carson to protect him as he finally does manage to take it down.

He's exhausted by the effort, so I start taking it apart to give him a breather as he retrieves the gun he discarded. The face... it's Salazar. Call Carson over, and he throws some more firebombs into it until it's not recognisable. He says he's seen evidence of Bruce too.

We go into the room behind the door - a lab, not the corridor Carson came in by. There's a lot of smashed glass and equipment, which has started a few small fires, and a door the other side of the room. That's all we have time to take in before Carson's lantern and the fires flicker out, leaving us in darkness. The door we entered by swings shut behind us, restored somehow. We pick our way carefully through the room to leave through the other door, which opens into a corridor. One end of the corridor is in darkness, but there's light at the other end so we go that way, to a door that opens to daylight!

It's dawn, and we're stood in front of the administration building. The orchard trees are bare, but there's no burial mounds.
We walk back to camp in a dazed near silence, hoping to find Chin there. We're both very, very hungry. We don't manage to find anything to eat on the way but there's the smell of roasting meat as we approach the camp. Not Chin, but Tesla, cooking a rabbit! We eat and sleep.

Wake to the smell of burning meat: Tesla's caught a coyote and is cooking it. Snatch at it from the flames before it becomes charcoal while Tesla talks. He doesn't remember much: when they took him from me, he was taken to a cell, then he was here. Carson's face is thunderous - fear masquerading as anger? - and he asks the Explorer's secret question. Unphased, Tesla replies correctly and asks what we saw in the place.

"I'm not sure." It's a weak answer, but the best I can give.

"Bodies" is all Carson will say. Tesla just nods.

Chin still hasn't shown up, so Tesla cobbles together something to try and locate him, using the same strange hat or headdress he used to try and track the Patchwork Man back in Shan Fan. He pulls it off his head and looks at us, a hint of confusion in his face and voice: "There's nothing"

"Nothing? What do you mean?"

"I found him, but there's nothing."

"You're sure you found him? It's not broken?" I look at the makeshift device, dubious.
"No! It works fine. There's just nothing. It's working fine." He gets defensive, starts talking technobabble I don't understand, sees the blank look on my face and puts the headdress on my head.
There's nothing. Not just no light, but no sound, no smell, no taste, no sense of temperature or pressure or even the air. I rip the headdress off and everything comes flooding back.

We pass the day waiting for him, hunting and foraging. I scrub with sand until I'm almost raw, trying to remove the blood from my skin, my hair, beneath my nails. Carson catches me, tries to calm me. 

"You didn't kill those people." His voice is calm but insistent.

"How can you be sure?" Mine's high, hysterical.

"You're not a monster." My face shows my doubt. He holds me. "You're not a monster. We'd have noticed by now." The care, the compassion in his voice reassures me.

"If you're wrong," I mutter against him, "will you... will you deal with me?"

"I'm not wrong."

"Promise!"

"I will. I swear it."

Tesla takes first watch; he and Carson must think I need to rest, because they don't wake me for a shift, and Tesla's taking another when I stir in the morning. Nothing weird happened overnight. Chin is still missing. We scuff around the camp, and head back to Perdition.

Sam's upset about his friends, of course, and, like us, worried about Chin. We tell him everything we can. He'll report back to the Explorer's for us: the asylum is beyond our capability, but maybe someone else can rescue Chin. Or at least find out more.

There's a new Good Intentions message for us, too:
The 'Children of Hasteli' - Indian cliff drawings painted in blood that never dries - have started appearing northwest of Perdition again. Someone is murdered, and the next day one appears.