Monday, 13 February 2023

A quick life update

I've got a date for Hunter character gen! Very excited: 2 weeks. I'll give more detail after. Am also really nervous, because it's new to me to be the one in charge...

Broke my finger. It hurts. Got caught in the fabric when I was doing a drop, and I didn't realise until it was too late. First confirmed broken bone of my life (hairline fracture on my ribs, and possible broken toe first week of uni, but this was far worse and impossible to ignore). During x-ray, I said "it hurts!" and the radiologist went "I can see why!" and with that acknowledgement that there was something real, the pain faded to a much more tolerable level. Physio tomorrow: as an aerialist and being hypermobile, it was really stressed to me that I must attend even if I feel ok.

I usually manage my fibro pain through exercise, so I'm not feeling great at the moment. I'm doing what I feel I can, but it's so much less than normal. I can just about straddle to the hoop on one arm, though, which took me by surprise.

Getting support to do the ADHD forms tomorrow. The more I've looked into it, the more I've realised it's the missing bit, part of the reason I could hide being autistic so well. It's helping me find ways to manage myself better, to be accepting and forgiving, which leads to less time spent feeling like a failure and more time spent trying. 

I'm still tied in knots of grief, and that's ok.

I'm still writing.

I'm still here.

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