Shadowrun - Trapped!

This is the second instalment of my write-up of the Shadowrun game I played in many years ago, copied from scrappy notes I rediscovered when we moved last.

The notes are particularly chaotic in a few places here, with arrows and footnotes and all sorts, and apparently I forgot about paragraphs... I left the last session with my character, Kamaya, and her NPC friend Tark taken captive at the Renraku Arcology. Fortunately, other of their friends escaped... (This session is a lot more violent than the previous.)

(Index here)

~~~

Ryan, meanwhile, contacted Ryn, Drazen, Razor-Boy, Jaz and Grinder (he offered them money - only Ryn agreed). They tricked Keneda into helping them (& Ranark) back into the Arcology as a rescue party. Keneda was going with The Colonel, Alastair, Stine and O'Lea to find room 1835 to get the money from Dunkelzahn's Will. Whilst preparing, the Arcology shut down. Using the Ork underground, they got into the basement and took a lift to the 6th floor - where Tark & Maya were marched into them. Ryan's team came running over, whilst Ranark & possibly Alastair were killed (Keneda's fault). The others ran from the various robots chasing them. At the end of the corridor, they started to blow up walls to make a passage. The civilians they met understandably panicked but started to calm down as they tried to explain. Using Tark to check astrally (O'Lea being unconscious), they found a child in a room beside them, so were more careful when demolishing the wall. Ryan passed through to calm the boy, and send him to the other civilians. As he passed the others, he detonated a grenade. They were lucky to survive. An argument ensued - Tark, Maya, Razor-Boy & Drazen wanted out, ASAP. Keneda, The Colonel & Stone wanted to check out the 18th floor, and said Ryan owed them. Reluctantly, they agreed to use Ryan & Jaz's expertise to control the lifts and travel to floor 18, then go. Keneda, The Colonel & Stone (still carrying O'Lea) got out, only for O'Lea to have her head blown off,followed by Razor-Boy's and then Stone's. No one was in sight, but the lighting was dimmed and a sound of children's voices, mocking and threatening, came over all the speakers. Ryan and Jaz started to move the lift away. Keneda jumped in, but the lift had to be stopped for The Colonel. Carefully, they returned to the basement, and were set upon by cleaning spider drones & an automated assault rifle. Their planned escape route had been covered. Droids, like spinning tops, that had attacked earlier started to head in, so they ran back to the lift and headed for the 3rd floor, hoping to escape via the monorail.

Tark and Maya took the lead, and were the first to spot a group of 7 red samurai. They ran back to the others, followed by shouts of "Step out with your weapons on the floor" and so forth. Another squabble followed, and Ryan walked out to buy more time. He tried to reason with the red sam, and was a little surprised to see they all had blue cybereyes, even the mage. Keneda tried to sneak out in his stealth suit whilst Maya, Tark & Drazen argued the argued the pro's and con's of walking out. Grinder took up position of leader and walked out to the samurai leader. 3 panther-like Medusa drones appeared as back-up, but the red sam seemed to have control over them. When Grinder realised his attempts at compromise were failing, he sent a message across the comm-link to Ryan: "Get Down." He detonated all his remaining explosives, killing all the red sam and two of the medusas. Ryan and Keneda were wounded, but survived. The floor and ceiling had holes large enough to climb through. The shock knocked Tark, Drazen and Jaz to the floor. Maya was helping Tark up as the remaining medusa started moving in on Keneda. Ryn was fast enough to put a physical barrier spell around it before it got too close. As Tark struggled to destroy it with magic, Ryan went closer to try and see how it worked. A bolt of electricity knocked him unconscious. Tark's spell succeeded in destroying it in time for Maya to identify howls as those of bargeists. Too far to be doing any harm, but getting closer. The Colonel grabbed Ryan and they ran, Ryn's spell and Drazen's guns taking out the dog-like creatures following. Jaz started to fall behind, so The Colonel carried her too. They ran into 2 bargeists waiting in ambush, but Tark's claws made short work of them. A panicked run through a shop into offices, and the 3 in front (Keneda, Tark, and Maya) were attacked by another medusa. Once it was trashed, Keneda noticed a flashing red light... They had time to duck back and so avoid the worst of the blast before it exploded, creating a hole into the warehouse behind. 

Pregnancy Thoughts

RPGaDay is over for another year, which means back to normal for this blog. I've got a few thoughts on things I read that I want to write about, particularly the idea that players should be fans of each other's characters (a piece of advice I'm very in favour of and shall endeavour to bring into practice moving forward). Inspired by this and Mark Knight's story about another player's character in one of his games, I also want to get back to writing about the other characters in games I'm in, or maybe will try to encourage my friends to write something for me - or both!

During August, I read an OSR piece because I don't know the difference between OSR and not-OSR and was hoping to learn, and what I learnt was that the biggest difference is that in OSR there's a subset of people who don't care that about sexism/racism/homophobia etc in gaming because it doesn't affect them, and who don't think that it matters that they don't care because gamers are nearly all middle-aged white men like they are - and who will be rude and shout down anyone who disagrees with them or even just tries raising a banner to say "I exist". Sigh. Not something I wanted to write about at the time because I wanted to focus on the positive side of gaming, but it is an issue that does need to be addressed.

Of course, the biggest thing on my mind is my pregnancy (it's one of the reasons why I feel the above issue is important.) It's going well - we're at 25 weeks, which means the foetus is considered viable and were I to go into labour they'd attempt to save the baby, which is reassuring. Foetal anomoly scan at 20 weeks revealed nothing of concern, so I'm still on course for a homebirth. Yay!

Something I've been meaning to do for a while is write about pregnancy in a bit more detail, either as a reference for GM's/players who want a pregnant character in their game, or for another pregnant person to stumble across to go "I'm not alone!" I'll have a go at the former another time, maybe, though I'm sure there's stuff here that might be interesting.

So, disclaimers first: 

• Every pregnancy is different. This is my experience of this pregnancy and may not reflect your experience at all, and that's ok!
• I am not a medical professional, practioner or trainee. If you have any concerns, speak to a midwife, nurse or GP. One thing I have experienced is that, in my local area at least, they really do want to hear from you if you have any issues, or even are just having a bad day

You hear stories about people who don't know they're pregnant until they give birth. If I didn't know people who'd had fairly symptomless pregnancies, or who didn't find out they were pregnant until late (7 months, in one case), I'd have joined the chorus of surprise and disbelief, but it looks as though this is actually more common than one might think. I had the opposite experience, with sufficient symptoms to suspect before implantation!

Things I Wish I'd Known

There's a lot of symptoms and side effects of pregnancy that suck, and I wish I'd been warned of a few beforehand:

• constipation and diarrhea
• insomnia despite being very, very tired (like being a teenager again!)
• pain in abdomen is normal, even early on - but get it checked out if you're at all worried
• people will judge you if you tell people early in the pregnancy (I did because I know miscarriage is very common and figured it would be easier to explain why I was in whatever state that would put me into should it happen to me if the people I was explaining to already knew I was pregnant - but people were very judgemental, especially older women and men of all ages. Not everyone, of course, but enough I stopped sharing and felt miserable about it)
• babies move less when it's hot (but if you're concerned, phone a midwife)
• baby movements are creepy and gross. I was thrilled when I started feeling them, but they quickly became creepy, gross and uncomfortable. After a slow down thanks to the heatwave, I find them reassuring and enjoy them again, but I really wasn't for a while 
• you're still tired in the second trimester. The pregnancy apps in particular will tell you all about how there's a sudden boost in energy when the second trimester starts, making it sound like more energy than you had pre-pregnancy. That may be the case for some people, but for me and everyone I've spoken to about it, it's been more like being slightly less exhausted than the adjacent trimesters
• body temperature rises. Until my body learnt how to regulate the new temperature, I felt I was trapped next to a furnace!
• headaches. Just constant headaches
• the first trimester is kinda like a 3 month long hangover

Things I'm Glad I Was Warned About

• first symptom: an outward pressure in the abdomen, which I'd have dismissed as IBS if I hadn't had a friend mention it
• super realistic dreams and nightmares associated with the pregnancy, birth and parenthood are normal. This would have really freaked me out if I hadn't known. The nastiest dream so far involved giving birth to a baby missing its skull and the bones in its right leg; the most amusing that I actually had triplets and one of them had travelled out of the womb and settled in my thigh - and no one was worried; the most recent was a normal labour and a healthy baby boy. I'm not having them frequently (yet) and not everyone has them, but it is common and doesn't mean anything is wrong with you or the baby
• round ligament pain. When this started, I was pretty sure I knew what was wrong but if I hadn't heard of it I'd have been terrified - and as it was, Husbit was concerned. Basically, terrible pain whenever I got out of bed. Checked with the midwife and she confirmed what it was, and the pain hasn't felt as bad since: a little reassurance can go a long way
• pelvic girdle pain. One of my circus friends had a baby last year, and like me is hypermobile. She had PGP and warned me: 1 in 5 women will experience this, and it's more common in hypermobile people. The Flying Through Pregnancy book from Spin City that talks about how to do aerial safely while pregnant also warns of this. I'd had hip problems since early in the pregnancy, as I'd started sleeping on my side early to get used to it and found my upper hip trying to dislocate and the muscle around my lower hip becoming very sore (careful squats have helped with both issues, and a pregnancy pillow has made a huge difference to the subluxating feeling), but in the past week I've started to get pain in my perineal area and the front of my pelvis when I transition between sitting and standing, or when I roll over in bed, or if I turn awkwardly when walking. It varies from a mild thrum to very painful. Midwife has given me a form to refer myself for physio, so hoping that will help
• patches of darker skin. The linea negra is a line that can appear from belly button to pubic area and dark patches can appear on your face (a "mask of pregnancy"). I've not had these, but have developed freckles and dark patches on my breasts, which are unpleasant to look at and made me worry about breast cancer until I remembered my work colleague's face. A quick internet search later, and I felt fine (favourite comment from someone else with the same: "It's like my nipple is trying to grow as much areola as possible"). Will almost certainly go away after pregnancy
• baby movements become visible. I really enjoy this - when I heard about it happening to other people, I thought it sounded cool, but around when the movements were creeping me out I got worried that this would be even creepier. My mood was really low the day I first saw movement, which may be why I haven't found it creepy at any point: it cheered me up and I've enjoyed it ever since, but I suspect if I hadn't known it was a thing I'd have freaked out
• bump size and shape is really variable (that said, a neat bump is a sign of strong abdominal muscles, which will lead to an easier labour)
• pelvic floor exercises are important! I've not had any associated issues as yet, but if I do I'll be ok because I know it's normal
• perineum massage reduces tearing. I'm very glad to have known this before I received the information sheet explaining how to do perineum massage, because even forewarned it's freaked me out a little!

Things That Weren't The Way I Expected

• I knew morning sickness wasn't just the morning, but (like 50% of pregnant people) I found it was predominantly nausea with only very occasional vomiting - and the nausea was more disruptive than the vomiting. Also, my nausea started and ended earlier than average, and I didn't know that it was normal to still occasionally vomit in the second trimester
• hypersensitivity to smell was much more powerful than I expected: Husbit finally appreciated how sensitive I'd become when I walked into the kitchen saying "ooh, tarragon, yummy", smelling the herb as strongly as if he was holding it under my nose, when less than a teaspoon had gone into the dinner and he couldn't smell it at all, even knowing it was there
• I didn't go off spicy food in the first trimester - in fact, I wanted more of it! Now, I have a preference for sharp foods, like lemon sorbet and sour sweets. This is apparently more normal than the spicy food thing
• I've been much, much calmer than I expected
• sex drive skyrocketed in the first few weeks, then plummetted. I knew both of these things were possible, but the height was so much higher than I expected, and when it dropped I found I still enjoyed sex, I just didn't want to start it
• breast changes - they grew much faster than I expected, and that was very painful. They were also crazy sensitive and tingled all over
• hair growth is not limited to head hair. Not sure why I didn't think this through, but it's kinda obvious... Armpit hair, leg hair, random hairs on random body parts... 
• no food cravings. I've changed the times of day I'm hungry and the types of food I want to eat, but not had any strong or strange cravings. I have had whole days where I haven't wanted to eat; my little sister had the same first time round 
• the first scan was as magical as I'd been told, making it more magical than I expected. The second wasn't: maybe my expectations were higher, or maybe my head was just in a different place. It was cool, but didn't impact me the same way
• Braxton Hicks contractions start way earlier than I thought! Week 6, though I didn't feel any until a couple of weeks ago, and have only had them maybe twice
• thirsty all the time
• not allowed more than 200mg of caffeine per day - was expecting it to be hard, but went off the taste and even the smell of coffee during the first trimester. That lifted with the start of the second trimester and now I am finding it harder, some days, but still not as bad as I thought
• I need to ask for help with things I used to find easy because I tire out quickly
• I can still do aerial, fairly comfortably. I'm obviously taking it very gently and not doing anything that feels risky, and reading up as much as I can on what's safe, but I'm still feeling good to teach and practice. One midwife was very excited about this as a hobby, too, which I didn't expect
• used to be, when I was out and about and saw pregnant people or people with young children, I'd feel painful envy. Now, I get given a little secret smile as though I've been initiated into a private, hidden club

Things People Have Said That Are Annoying

• "Think you're tired now? That's the next 18 years!" - I have a history of insomnia and fatigue, so this is already something I worry about if I let myself. Being reminded of it is not helpful - and kinda patronising, because I already know and it ignores my experience
• "Don't google anything; it'll just scare you" - my experience with internet searches and pregnancy symptoms has been very reassuring. I often tag "NHS" to the end of a search to get factsheets, but even places like Mum's Net are reassuring rather than fearmongering. Even when you have symptoms that need checking out, the advice to do so is given calmly and in a supportive manner
• "Is it pink or blue?" - it's a person, not a colour
• (I know other people have found comments on their bump size annoying, but they don't bother me so much. Ditto pregnancy/labour horror stories: I have always found these weirdly reassuring)

 

Things People Have Said That Are Helpful

• "It's ok to hate pregnancy" - I couldn't imagine it at the time I was told this, but a week later I was very grateful
• "There's so many weird pregnancy symptoms, it would be even weirder if you didn't have anything weird" - from my sister (a trained nurse and then pregnant with her second child) in response to my worry about rib pain very early on
• "Relaxed parents have relaxed babies" - might not help another, but for me it helps me stay in control whenever I start to worry
• "Listen to your body"/"Trust your instincts" - for pregnancy and child-raising
• "If you're worried, talk to a midwife" - having phoned once for reduced movement, I understand that they really would rather you bother them over nothing than sit and stew. Talking about emotional issues at my last check up, my midwife informed me I should phone in if I'm feeling down again, because they'd much rather talk to me than not know
• "It's ok to want one gender more than the other" - I want a daughter, really, but have been afraid to admit it for fear of judgement (and because I've heard that transgender people are quizzed on whether their parents had a gender preference so I've worried if I have a son who turns out to be a daughter and it's known I wanted a daughter, they could end up being denied the ability to transition because it's assumed I've pressured them into it). Being told it was ok to have a preference enabled me to face up to it and accept it, and now I don't mind (most of the time) 
• "Your partner might not feel any connection to/interest in the baby until after the first/second scan/it's arrived" - his almost indifference to the child (although he's taking care of me) would be upsetting if other friends of mine hadn't recently had children and gone through the same, with the other parent now being as involved with the baby as the mother

Things That Are Great

• IBS, fibromyalgia, asthma and eczema symptoms went away completely for the first trimester and are still muted now (which means less pain, less fatigue, and ability to eat loads of things I couldn't before)
• wriggly baby! Responds to cold drinks, sugary/caffeinated drinks, Hanson and Green Day, and sometimes will poke back if I poke an area
• can ask for a glass of water in shops or other places when I'm out and about. The fact I have a prominent bump makes it hard for people to deny me!
• mum voice is starting to develop. Finding it a lot easier to stand my ground and tell people off...

There's loads more, I've no doubt, but this is already long and it'll do for now. Sorry if there's any repeats or anything obvious missed - I've written and re-written and haven't proofread because it's taken longer than I intended and I'm about to go out.

#RPGaDay2018: Day 31 - Share why you take part in RPG-A-DAY

Because it's fun. Because I like talking about roleplaying games and roleplaying, and I like the prompts that take me in different directions than I might otherwise travel. Because it's good motivation to blog regularly. Because I like seeing what other people have to say, and learning from them. Because I like finding new people to follow on social media (well, G+). Because I enjoy that feeling of community. Because it's about looking at the best of our hobby, reminding people we can be better than the worst.

Thanks Dave Chapman for running it again this year. Looking forward to 2019!

#RPGaDay2018: Day 30 - Share something you learnt about playing your character

The character I'm going to talk about is Ragna, from Mage: The Ascension (20th Anniversary Edition). The game started at the end of 2017 or the start of 2018, when we took a break from Exalted, and we came to the end of the first arc a couple of weeks ago (opening up the gaming slot to a different Exalted game, set in the First Age - a sort of alternative history to the game I had been playing in, in that some of the characters are recognisable but the plot doesn't necessarily match the history of Taji and Kito's world).

She's a new character, and those first few months are generally where you learn the most about playing a character, so this question feels well-timed to me. 

So, what have I learnt?

She's a lot more innocent than I originally wrote. I knew I didn't want her to be the cut-throat, achieve-at-all-cost wannabe actress stereotype, which has ended with her being innocent in a sweet and earnest way. She has the 'martyr' demeanour, which combined with her sweetness means she will try to do everything she's asked because she wants to please people, but she never gets upset or passive aggressive about it. If someone points out she doesn't need to take so much on (usually her grandmother) she'll chew her bottom lip and fret because she doesn't want to let anyone down - including the person telling her to take less on.

She's quite quiet, especially around authority - almost mute around authority, in fact. This is in character because she's completely intimidated and often afraid, and out of character because Taji's the dominant, talking one in Exalted, and Chrissie often takes the lead in Aberrant, and I wanted to make sure Bells could take on that role in this game, especially where Howard (his character) has the 'overconfident' flaw. She will talk to authority, or powerful-seeming characters if he's not around, but if he is she'll stand slightly further back, as if hoping they won't notice her.

Despite this, she has a backbone of steel and will stand up for what she believes in. She is often afraid, but will still try to shield her mind from the Warden of Los Angeles to protect a secret she promised she'd keep, for instance. She'll still agree - offer - to do the things she believes are the right things to do, even when they scare her. After the confidence of Taji and the relative indestructableness of Chrissie (mega stamina how much?), I've enjoyed playing someone who is in danger, understands she's in danger, and does her best anyway.

She's not afraid to ask questions, or ask for help when she needs to, especially from her mentor. This is in contrast to Howard, who's almost desperate to prove himself capable and competent so will do everything he can to solve a problem by himself. It makes sense given their family histories: he's estranged from his pushy, overbearing parents who didn't understand him, while she's close with her family (even if they're the other side of the world) and was raised with love and respect and freedom in her decisions about her future (even if her parents weren't enamoured with the idea of her trying to become a film star, they were prepared to support her decision - although they found out about her decision after she was already in LA, which I think shows that determination and backbone that's hidden by her quietness and desire to please).

The biggest surprise was in realising she'd been in LA for 2 year or so without managing to make any friends. She's nice - sweet - but her determination to make it as an actress followed by her awakening as a Mage never gave her the time. She makes friends as the game progresses, but still doesn't have many.

What about you? Let me know below!

#RPGaDay2018: Day 29 - Share a friendship you have because of RPG's

As I was thinking about how to answer this, I realised that almost all of my friendships come about, directly or indirectly, from RPG's. There's a few people I'm still friends with from school, and I've made friends because of work, and I'm in touch with a few people from uni I met outside the Wargames and Roleplay Society, but nearly everyone else can be traced back to RPG's.

Yes, even my aerial friends.

See, the guy who first dragged me to circus I met when stuck on a coach and heard a game being run behind me. The guy running it is the guy I now call Husbit; the guy who dragged me to circus was one of the other players. While we were going to the same event, I probably wouldn't have bothered getting to know them if it wasn't for the game, which means I wouldn't even have my aerial friends if it wasn't for RPG's. Everyone I know locally that I wasn't at school with or have worked with I have met as a result of games: if you're on that list and don't think that's how we met, then it'll be because the person who introduced us, or who first took me to the place we met, is someone I know because of games.

Part of me feels a little weird about that.

Given that, though, how can I chose just one friendship to share? Instead...

I've talked about how I met Husbit for RPGaDay before (here and here). We're expecting a baby this year (code named Ziggy), due the day before our 15th anniversary (which means Christmas Day is within the "on time" window...). I'm very, very excited to be bringing a new player character into the world. I've got all of these plans and dreams about how I'm going to introduce them to storytelling and gaming. 

The parent-child relationship isn't the same as a friendship, but as Ziggy kicks and squirms inside me I feel closer and closer to them, more and more bonded. And they wouldn't be there if it wasn't for games.

Taking part this year? Share a link to your response below!

#RPGaDay2018: Day 28 - Share whose inspiring gaming excellence you're grateful for

This question feels like favouritism to me, which makes it really hard to answer. Maybe if I watched actual plays or something I'd be able to pick someone I've never interacted with, physically or digitally, beyond their media, but I don't so it needs to be someone I know, which makes it feel like favouritism which I don't like.

So I'm going to choose Tom.

Tom was another player in the Buffy game that was my intro to roleplay. He took me to one side after a session and asked if I wanted to join his ShadowRun game,because he thought I "got it" and would be a good fit. I was really enjoying Buffy, so quickly accepted.

He could be a tough GM - he'd been to the same university I ended up at, several years earlier, but was still known by reputation. "Star Wars Tom was your first GM and you didn't give up?!" He'd run Star Wars games to which people would bring 2, even 3 characters to each session, and still sometimes end up having to create a new character when the others all died. By the time he was running ShadowRun for me, he'd mellowed somewhat: there were still player deaths, but nothing quite on the scale of the stories I later heard.

There were several NPC's I suspect some people would term GMPC's, but they never bothered me: they never stole the show, but rather gave an extra edge of believability to the world, and he encouraged us to interact with them and befriend them in a way that helped some of the players more used to only thinking about the combat side of the game suddenly discover the roleplay aspect too, helping bring their characters to life. I guess it says a lot about the depth he gave them that of the characters I remember details about, at least half were NPC's.

I'm grateful to him because he's the one who nurtured me and encouraged me as a young player. When he introduced adult themes to the game, he made sure to give me (the youngest player) an out without interrupting the flow of the game. He (and several other players) made sure I knew they had my back when a newer player made inappropriate jokes. They didn't ostracise him, either, but made sure he knew his comments weren't ok while encouraging him to grow up (which he did). To be able to do that for him while keeping me feeling supported is an impressive skill.

The game contained an on-going plot, but focussed on characters getting through the here and now, and strongly influenced the way I like to play now (though maybe I loved it so much because it matched the way I didn't yet know I preferred).

So yeah, I'll pick Tom, because I think without that ShadowRun game I wouldn't still be gaming, or at least not as frequently and enthusiastically.


What about you? Share a link to your response below.

#RPGaDay2018: Day 27 - Share a great stream/actual play

I don't watch/listen to streams, so I'm going to pick two blogs whose authors talk about their games: Sophie Lagace's The Reef and Mark Knight's RPG Knights. Both blogs do more than just game write-ups, but of the blogs I read, these two probably most consistently include stories from their gaming tables.

They're very different, though. Like me, Mark plays more of the more traditional games (Pathfinder, Conan,Traveller): GM and (usually) dice. Unlike me, he usually takes the position of GM. I think this is part of why I like his blog - he writes from a more technical point of view than I do, weighing up what works and doesn't in the systems, settings and scenarios, and I feel like I learn a lot from this. (He also includes actual play videos; I just don't make time to watch them.)

Sophie, on the other hand, plays and playtests more modern, GM-less games. These don't appeal to me as much (though if the right group of friends asked I'd give it a go) and I don't know as much about how they work or the terminology, but I still really enjoy reading what she has to say. She makes me feel like maybe I do want a go at a GM-less system.

What about you? What streams/actual plays/blogs/podcasts do you recommend?