The Shin Kickers

So the Exiles 2014 Spring League has come to an end.

This shiny season seemed a good idea to bring the Shin Kickers back – a seasoned halfling team with some interesting players. The first season they played in, they did very badly and lost every single match but I did manage to start skilling the team up and this has produced some interesting (and potentially dangerous) individuals. 

Husbit has a rule with player names: if you don’t fill them in, he will using pornstar-type names. I couldn’t think of anything clever, so decided to name the trees after trees and the halflings after invisible/nobody-type ideas. When a player's killed/fired and repurchased, they are usually replaced by a player with the same name and a number....

Team Sheet at the end of the Spring Season

As you can see, Mr Shifty has died several times. He was the first 'fling to pick up side step but since his first death has been killed everytime he gets enough Star Player Points (SPP) to skill-up. Mr Nobody has managed to survive having two niggles for about two seasons now - no one can defeat him!

It seemed fitting that the first halfling to get an agility increase was He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named: Mr Voldemort. Who then, of course, became my primary scorer. Across our league, he is only the second player (and only still living) to breach 100 SPP. He now has side step, sure feet, sprint and catch in addition to being AG4. Unfortunately, he recently suffered a movement loss but he’s still a valuable player.

I say the first halfling with an agility increase: at one point, I had 3 AG4 ‘flings. One was killed but the other (Mr Anon) is now AG5, with sure feet and side step.

Most excitingly, I have a MV4 tree, Mr Elm. He actually rolled a third (6-4) 10 but, being armour 10 (a tree) and already having taken two movement increases, Husbit (aka League Commissioner) wouldn’t let me make him movement 5 so I gave him break tackle instead. I’ve been hoping for a double to give him nerves of steel and make him my 'fling-flinger extraordinaire, although break tackle now means I'm thinking block for him to be the world’s scariest cage breaker.

Mr Oak, the other tree, has a good casualty record and has rewarded himself for that with grab, multiple-block, guard and piling-on. So far, I don’t think I’ve remembered to use piling-on once (and when I’ve remembered I have the skill, him being on his feet has been more useful), but as he’s only rolled normal skills and there’s only so many strength skills available, I’m sure it will come in useful eventually.

With the halflings, unless I roll a double or stat their first skill is side step. This lead to a wonderful few games towards the end of the third season (when Army Dave’s norse San Frannorseca 49’ers obliterated the plucky 'Kickers), where 3 halflings were marked with red skill rings to show they didn’t have side step. Second skill tends to be sure feet to make extra movement more reliable, followed by sprint. I do have one side step/jump up 'fling, though – just to be different.

On doubles, I have one 'fling (Mr Wrong) with both kick-off return and sure hands: a lovely combination. If I manage to skill him up again, I’m looking at catch to make him even better at acquiring the ball early. My only other double is a blocking 'fling – my second, the first having been slaughtered in the second season by San Frannorseca 49’ers. I really wanted to go with mighty blow, but listened to the boring advice that block was more sensible.

The models are Impact! Miniatures' Elfball Gnome team. My favourite is the little guy cuddling the ball. These painted by our friend George.

So where are my team going in the future? I’m probably not running them next season: a killer Chaos Dwarf team in the form of Slow Whites has arisen that puts me off when I’m very fond of my little guys (for similar reasons, my Amaze-Zings Amazon team – sponsored by Haribogre – won’t be making a reappearance just yet), so it’s probably going to be ogres. But they won’t be retiring entirely just yet: I want to see if Mr Voldemort can earn himself that elusive final skill…