Circus - Videos and Photos

This is not a real post. It's just an update from this post. I've got some footage of me on the silks but for some reason even though the footage of me on the hoop mentioned in the other post is in the same place as these videos, I still can't get it to link. So there are a few more photos instead.

Update: *Finally* found a way to get this video to post! Was so proud of how well I did when it was taken and now makes me feel really good about how far I've come in what is actually a fairly short space of time. Makes me feel confident for the future - especially seeing as I managed a superman mount by myself for the first time last week. It was messy as hell, but I did it (the mount takes you into front balance rather than hocking on and I really like front balance so I'm determined to be able to do the mount neatly).

Editing part 2

I haven’t done nearly as much on my picture and poem as I’d hoped because I’ve been a lot busier than I anticipated (which has been lovely – spending time with my younger brother and our friends and gaming and geekery).

Starting with the poem… I’ve done almost nothing. I’ve removed the stanzas that were most awkward and have changed a couple of words to ‘smooth’ the flow, sort of thing. I’m tempted to change the gender of one of my friends so there would be a ‘he’, a ‘she’ and an ‘I’.

I also noticed that the stanzas are probably in the wrong order – I thought it went 1 – 2 – 3 – 3 – 2 – 1 but it isn’t: it’s 1 – 2 – 3 – 3 – 1 – 2. The problem is that having 3 – 3 works less well now I’ve taken out the bridging stanza I didn’t like.

At school we once had a class on how to edit a poem. The teacher gave us a poem he’d written – a copy of the initial poem as he’d written it and a copy of it once he’d finished editing it. A good idea, because he could talk us through the changes he’d made and why (there may have been a third that was part way through the process; I can’t remember). The problem was that the end poem didn’t seem any ‘better’ to me than the first draft – just different.

One thing he did, however, was remove a few lines that were where the poem had grown from because they didn’t fit his final vision. I didn’t understand why he did that – those lines, to me, seemed to be the best part of the poem – but I think I understand it now. Part of what I have removed are the ballad-style lines “Dressed in red and black, my friends, dressed in red and black…”, which were the heart of the poem and something, when I wrote it, I really didn’t want to lose but returning to it now I really don’t think they fit.

Onto the picture: I’m happier with the eyes, ears, mouth, crown and eyebrows but, actually, less happy with the nose. I decided I want to draw her in her armour but haven’t found fantasy armour I’m confident to draw her in (it seems particularly difficult to find necklines, with a lot of images having these obscured by arms pulling bows etc). Instead, I think I’ll put her into a dress so she can be in a queening moment – hopefully, it’ll be easier to find something suitably inspiring.

I spoke to my Dad, who’s good at drawing. He was thrilled I’m giving it another go and was able to give me advice on proportion with some of my other sketches of full bodies. He’s done less portraiture-style paintings and drawings, but it was nice to see his enthusiasm in helping me and it made me feel positive about improving.

Because I'm doing this using pencil and paper, I'm having to scan it or take a photo, and then use photoshop to try and make it more visible, with varying degrees of success. This is why the second is paler than the first.

Initial Sketch

With a bit of fiddling

Learning to Learn (or, why I hate editing)

I recently came across a poem I’d written at university. I remembered the poem, because I remembered what had inspired it (a night out where I and several friends expressed various sorrows and I noticed we were all wearing the same colours), but re-reading it I was surprised. The first couple of stanzas struck me as pretty good – better than my usual angsty attempts; good enough, even, that I thought maybe someone else had written it. But then I read on and knew it was mine: I recognised the mistakes I make over and over again.

Queen Svetlana Surtova - initial outline

I was trying to sketch Svetlana the other day and something clicked in my mind. I was struggling to get the look I wanted and eventually reached a point where I thought “ah well, that’s good enough. I’ll leave it there” and I realised that’s what I do. I never edit anything I’ve created – I take it to a point it’s about alright, and don’t try any harder.

I think it’s a large part my fear of failure, in that if I don’t edit I didn’t really try so if it’s rubbish it doesn’t matter. But if I try and it’s still no good… well, that means I’m no good.

I was talking to Mazza (my friend who introduced me to circus) along these lines the other day. He was explaining how learning circus has helped him be more forgiving of his mistakes and keep trying even if something isn’t easy the first time round. It’s a good skill to have and one we were both lacking because we were smart and did well at school without needing to try so never learnt how to. He’s disciplining himself to get past this in all areas of his life, and I want to do the same.

One of the reasons I don’t illustrate my blog is the time it takes. But that’s really just an excuse, and the real reason goes back to this fear of failure: I’m afraid people will see what I have drawn and mock it. But you know what? The only way to learn is to practice.

I’m no good at editing because I’ve never practiced it. My excuse has always been that I don’t know where to begin or what to do, and there’s a truth to that, but if I don’t try I’ll never learn. So here it is: a poem and a picture that I will edit (albeit slowly and painfully) until I am happy with them. And you lucky lot will get to see the process (and any advice you can impart is appreciated!)

Pathfinder - The Crusade part 6

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5  / Part 7

To face this mysterious sky lizard, we kept a team scrying its lair in order that we would know when it returned. When the mage on duty ran away screaming, Mr Tiddles teleported us into the cavern entrance. When we came back some time later, the horde of treasure was with us and took several days to catalogue. If you want to know more about the fight, you’ll need to find someone who’s heard Alexei’s Ode to the Battle. That shouldn’t be too hard… 

***

The corrupted gold dragon had spotted the scrying sensor and breathed acid upon us as we arrived. I threw down the adamantine fortress of being a small cube most of the time that Alexei had made Svetlana for the two of them to hide in whilst the others started laying into the beast. Husbit summoned an ice devil to assist us, as Alexei had learnt this creature was vulnerable to cold. I managed to hit it once with the crossbow and on my 2D10 of damage rolled… 2.* The dragon summoned a meteor to take out the fortress, as it was right in the entrance to prevent the beast escaping. It was utterly destroyed, but saved the lives of Svetlana and Alexei trembling inside. Husbit jumped to the Ethereal plane and hid in the rocks after I’d made use of Alexei’s cloak of shadows to shadowstep further into the cave.

Despite taking massive amounts of damage and being very, very grateful for Alexei’s ranged healing (courtesy of the mythic hierophant ability ‘faith’s reach’) and Kieran’s ‘heal mount’ (without which we would be one griffin down), we prevailed. As Kieran swung his bastard sword round to deliver the killing blow, he and Svetlana (and possibly Aaron) saw it lean its head in towards the blade, as though it wanted to die. The head flew off to land at Svetlana’s feet… and we suddenly were back in Drezen surrounded by treasure. The fight had lasted maybe 30 seconds but a day had passed.

Alexei quickly explained that we must never speak of the creature to anyone in Golarion. It was a member of a race that had lived here previously but had become too powerful so various deities had banished them. This one had either managed to avoid that or had managed to find its way back, becoming corrupted along the way. But the deities had removed all record of these beasts from the minds of mankind and if we were ever to speak of it then they would similarly remove us from history. It would be ok to speak of the creature in general terms – as per Alexei’s Ode (this being Husbit’s fourth natural 20 on a perform/craft check to produce artwork when he doesn’t have skills but insane charisma) – but we must never describe it. The only reason we remember it is because Alexei/Husbit didn’t think we’d want our heads messed with more than they already were, with the being taken out of time whilst Alexei and his patron dealt with the aftermath before returning us to Drezen. And that’s why this is being told OC – don’t want to risk losing my lovely Svetlana!

***

Alexei’s Ode is very popular and, after that poem he wrote at my wedding and the painting he did of Natalya, he’s finally been caught by a fan-boy who wants to be his apprentice, Graycen Silversong. And every time I think of my wedding and my husband and my motherand my friends outside the Worldwound, homesickness threatens to overwhelm me. Noleski chats to me often, keeping me up to date with the news from Brevoy, but it’s not the same as being there with him and I can’t speak to Mum or any of the others.

But back to the task at hand. Whilst the treasure was being sorted and prepared for transport back to Brevoy and the Dawnlands, Alexei rested to recover from his part in the battle, dealt with Mr Silversong and then started scrying for the succubus Arueshalae. He found her sitting in the bell tower of a church in the ruins of a castle with demons starting to surround it – she looked up, seeing the small sensor, and Alexei introduced himself to her. She quickly gave some landmarks to help us find her, roughly 3 days’ march away. We hopped onto Brutus and were there in a couple of hours to deal with the hag and small group it led trying to reach Arueshalae. She was, at least, protected by the bell tower, an artefact extending a field the demons could not enter. As we approached the tower, she came running out armed with a bow to assist us in dispersing them – surprised and pleased we’d already finished the job. She was also pleased to hear the Sword of Valour had been restored and Drezen was safe once more.

Her greatest concern was these nahyndrian crystals that were mentioned in Staunton Vhane’s journal – the ones that gave him his power and created the monstrosity we fought on the bridge. She knew they were mined and refined at various places in the Worldwound, but didn’t know where. Her best lead was the Ivory Labyrinth… but she didn’t know where that was, either. What she did know, however, was the location of an outpost run by Templars of the Ivory Labyrinth and she could lead us there. En route, Alexei quizzed her about someone named ‘Jerribeth’. Arueshalae explained Jerribeth was a Glabrizu demon, second in command and given the ability to shape-shift by Baphomet – a dangerous individual.

The outpost was a shrine cut into the side of a cliff. Statues stood guard at the entrance, and many more inside. The first room had at its head a statue of the demon lord Baphomet; the surrounding statues had been corrupted from those celebrating Abadar. Kieran winced as he entered, quickly casting a hallow effect that caused the goat-headed statue to crumble. The feeling of oppression lifted and we continued in.

As Evander (who has been acting more and more erratically of late) entered, noisy in his armour, a group of six Templars ran through the door that had been obscured by the statue. Alexei summoned his deepest voice and thundered at them to surrender or die: two turned to flee the room but were prevented from leaving by a third. The other three charged towards Alexei, to be tripped by Evander and his flail. Four of the Templars were killed in the short skirmish that followed – Evander abandoning his flail and short sword to beat one to death with his fists. The remaining two were unhelpful as the others tried to question them, so I let my curiosity get the better of me and snuck away through the door.

I followed the corridor along through the mountain until I reached a room furnished with a bed and a writing desk – and occupied by a woman and her beastie. She fired her crossbow at me – a small bolt in my shoulder, just enough to hurt rather than cause any real injury so I approached, rapier drawn, to fight off the beast. A pit opened beneath – magic, I suspect, rather than a trap – and in I tumbled, feather fall protecting me from harm. She took pot shots at me as I used spiders’ climb to get me out of there. To be honest, we were pretty evenly matched – neither able to do much damage. She summoned a shield of spinning knives around her, so I focused on her pet eidelon and eventually she managed to paralyse me with hold person and teleport away – just as the others realised I was missing and came to rescue me. Ah well. In her writing desk were papers from which we were pretty sure we could locate the Ivory Labyrinth itself, and off we went.

An illusory wall by the Green Gate – to the east of the Marshland and the west of the road. Actually fairly easy to find once you have a few clues and know the former extent of the forest known as the Green Gate. A small group of basilisks lazed by the entrance, but Keiran befriended one and gently guided the others out of our path. Bernadette, as he named his new friend, helped us when we reached the gate by petrifying one of the minotaurs standing guard on the other side of the portcullis – he left her eating its remains once we had dispatched the rest and were inside the courtyard ourselves.

We went inside the ‘labyrinth’, slightly apprehensive with our awareness that only Baphomet had previously escaped its confines. Skulking around the ground floor, I accidentally woke two minotaurs. As they stood and prepared to charge us, Alexei apologised and closed the door… that they promptly charged through, making them easy pickings and allowing us to liberate a few more items rendered ownerless before continuing round to another room, furnished with a writing desk and an enormous bed. A huge elven woman with long, green hair lounged there beside the corpse of a Templar. From the tang of blood in the air, he hadn’t been dead long. This was Jerribeth. She shifted into her true form – scaled, with extra arms – but it wasn’t enough to save her from a paladin’s wrath.

*To be honest, it was a bit of a night of rolling 1’s: we’ve just hit mythic tier 6, unlocking ‘force of will’ which enables us to use a mythic chip to re-roll a D20. Most of my mythic chips went on that, and I still ended up with critical failures.

BRUISES! (or, Hurray for Circus!)

Have had a really good circus class this afternoon. It’s something I love – I’m not particularly athletic or sporty but as an exercise this really seems to suit me (and the other people are lovely).

It suits me because I’m naturally quite flexible, so I was better at it initially than I expected, which in turn made me feel good and made me want to keep going. I’ve been amazed how quickly my strength and muscle tone has improved as well: it’s a fantastic exercise.

But you do bruise. In my first session, the lady taking the class warned us and also said we’d one day stop bruising and be disappointed and miss the bruises. I think I know what she means: every new bruise is very exciting to me! I get home and check for new bruises, showing them off to my much less impressed Husbit. It’s probably a good thing he doesn’t like to see me bruised, but sometimes I wish he would get excited with me: these bruises are hard-earned and awesome!

Today's session was exciting because I'd learned a new move the other day that I could just do and I was pretty sure I'd worked it out and would be able to do it properly this time - and I was right. I unfortunately don't have a picture of that (I also still haven't figured out how to upload the video). I'll get some more photos for y'all soon, so I can actually explain the things that excite me (other than the bruises...)

There should be another Pathfinder update shortly. We got quite a lot done in last night's session.